How to tie and buy a butch bow tie

by Sophia Kelly (c) Lesbian Quarterly

I bought my genderqueer girlfriend a silk bow tie for Christmas. It looks fabulous – green silk with a nice subtle pattern on it and super classy. For extra difficulty I bought it while visiting Calgary, which if you aren’t Canadian, is an urban area in the Canadian equivalent of Texas. Not known for it’s queer community. It’s not that there aren’t lesbians in Alberta, it’s just that most of them leave.

I was probably safe at the store I went to, but didn’t want any hassles and I wanted some actual help selecting, so went gender ambiguous about the partner I was buying the gift for. I used ‘they’ and ‘partner’ throughout, but was completely read as a straight girl buying for her boyfriend. I did come out at the till when paying, because I think people should know. And after all, this is Canada, even if it is Alberta.

The thing is, neither of us know how to tie it. I think it behooves me to add tying a bow tie to my femmly  repertoire and no doubt my gf wants to learn too. I found this fantastic video by DapperQ, a website for the ‘unconventionally masculine’ on how to tie a bow tie for butches.

Here it is in all it’s glory.  It starts of a bit punk rock, but then gets down to the practical in a very straightforward way.

How To Tie a Bowtie from dapperQ on Vimeo.

If you live in your country’s equivalent of Calgary, and would prefer to order your silk bow tie online, what you want to search for is self tie silk bow tie (this link will take you directly to that search). The term ‘self tie’ means it’s isn’t pre-tied with an elastic on it like your kid nephew wears, and silk because that’s the good stuff.

Happy bowtie wearing!



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