By Sophia Kelly (c) Lesbian Quarterly

Most resources for learning tantra are extremely hetero-normative.  All the exercises and and practice assume that everyone is in opposite sex, opposite gender pair and that all the women involved are interested in connecting with their ‘inner feminine’.  It can be hard to wade through all the appalling drek to get to the good stuff.

This is really too bad, because sacred sexuality and the massage and energy practices associated with tantra practice can be really great for women who love women. The detailed vulva / vagina massage instructions alone are well worth investigating tantra. If you enjoy sexuality that is focussed on spiritual and energetic connection as well as the physical then Tantra practice has a lot to offer.

One of the best resources I have found for learning tantra in a much less hetero normative setting is Barbara Carellas’ Urban Tantra, Second Edition: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. It includes detailed, practical, content for women, men and transfolk who wish to practice tantra, and doesn’t assume anything about what combinations you will want to pair up in, or what toys or tools you’d like to use. It was quite refreshing.

So if you are looking to staying in with your significant woman this Valentines day, or a practical, hands-on antidote to lesbian bed death, this book is highly recommended.